The Counselling Services

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the attitude we choose to have towards ourselves, and is made up of the beliefs we hold about ourselves, as well as the values we assign to ourselves.

Low self-esteem involves having many negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself, creating a distorted idea that you have little value to offer both others and the world.

A therapist can help you to discuss and understand the attitude you have towards yourself. Self-esteem can be connected to depressionanxiety, as a result of emotional abuse they will also work with you on these issues.

If you have low self-esteem, you are more likely to focus on your weaknesses, downfalls, or perceived failures rather than draw on your strength and accomplishments. This may lead you to believe you aren’t such a good person, which in turn can cause difficulties in setting and achieving goals as well as creating problematic relationships with others.

While low self-esteem is not a mental health condition in and of itself, it is strongly linked with anxiety and depression. As so many cases of depression go hand-in-hand with low self-esteem, psychologists continue to debate which one of the two leads to the other.

Is there a difference between low confidence and low self-esteem?

It is easy to confuse low confidence with low self-esteem, and they are not the same.

Low-self esteem tends to be unconscious as it is created by our deep core beliefs and affects everything we do.

Low self confidence is related to our conscious thinking about how we may handle things and may vary with each situation we face.

You can suffer from a lack of confidence while still having good self-esteem. For example, you may hate first dates, be terrified of public speaking, or not like to dance in front of other people. However, if you still feel like you are a good person who has things to offer the world, you are only suffering from low confidence in some areas of your life.

On the other hand, individuals with low self-esteem can come across as very confident and able to do things well despite beating themselves up deep down for not being perfect. Some of the most successful individuals admit to having low self-esteem, feeling deep down that they are unworthy of love or are not a good person. They may push themselves so hard out of a belief that they must ‘prove’ themselves as valuable when in reality each individual is valuable regardless of achievements.

What therapy helps with self-esteem?

Talking therapies like psychotherapy tend to be useful for increasing self-esteem because they help to identify core beliefs and discover at which point in life or childhood these beliefs were formed and rooted.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) 

Mindfulness 

Group therapy or support groups 

Self-help